The Imperial Shenanigans
by knightslayers
Summary: Eridan and the crew try to make life easier for everyone on Alternia. Unfortunately, not everyone is willing to accept the new changes they have enforced. Who kidnapped Feferi! Or possibly the bigger question: Will Eridan and Sollux actually ever work together? Yeah, maybe not.
1. To Change the World

**Your name is ERIDAN AMPORA and you have a lot to get done today. The stakes are high, and there is no room for failure.**

Eridan stood up and impatiently paced back and forth across the palace floor, glancing out the window every few seconds to keep tabs on the ever-growing crowd. Trolls of all types and blood castes were crowded around the shiny metallic gates of the Imperial Palace, and Eridan knew hundreds more were on their way. They were all shouting and pushing at each other trying to get at the front of the crowd. Even from inside the palace, he could hear the angry shouting and unforgiving tones echoing off the stone walls as bottles of Faygo and half-eaten dinners went flying in people's surprised faces.

Eridan frowned as he started to see the chaos die down as the Highbloods claimed their spots at the front of the assembly. The Lowbloods hung back, defeated, as they had been for longer than any of them could remember.

Feferi would not like this. Not one bit.

He could almost see her face now. Ashen at the sight of her subjects; rioting and as divided as ever. She would look to him for guidance and support and he would give it to her with his whole heart.

Eridan was nervous because today was the day they were going to change everything in Alternia. There would be new rules and laws of the land devised by Feferi and Terezi that everyone would have to get used to. Including him.

It wasn't like their rules were outrageous or cruel. In fact, these rules were just what Alternia needed and had neglected for thousands of years.

Eridan realized with a sigh that he would've been upset with these new terms just a few sweeps ago. And even now he hated to admit that he liked the air of superiority he possessed as a Highblood. But deep inside, he knew he was wrong for thinking things like that. But his pride would not allow him to admit it.

But like it or not, that was all changing tonight.

As if on cue, Feferi skipped in, humming and holding her brush in her clasped hands like a bouquet. Eridan couldn't help but laugh when he saw her giddy and as excited as ever. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all.

"Good morning, Princess," Eridan gave an over exaggerated bow and grinned up at her.

"Good day, Prince," Feferi responded, trying to hold in her laughter, "are you ready to change Alternia for the better?"

"Yes. I am always ready, sweet maiden," he flirted, taking her hands in his and putting her brush on the granite table, "are you?"

But Feferi was already looking out the palace window as her draw dropped. "Oh cod. I wasn't expecting this many people!" She pulled Eridan off the floor where he was still kneeling in front of her. "I-I don't think I can do this," she admitted sheepishly to him, squeezing her eyes shut, trying to wish the large crowd away.

"Fef, of course you can do this," Eridan whispered to her as he put his nose to hers, "you have nothing to fear from this crowd. The stuff you're gonna say today should make them happy as a clam in the sea. And don't forget- they chose _you_ to be Empress."

Although the rule about the highest blood getting to rule Alternia had been shot down, their friends and many others had still chosen her to be the Empress despite this. And Feferi had always wondered why. Eridan laughed every time she asked this. It was because she was fair, reasonable, and kind. She always took her responsibilities seriously and she was a great person to talk to, plus she would always listen to what you had to say. And she never thought higher of herself; a quality that Eridan struggled with even today. He wished he were half the troll Feferi was. To Eridan, Feferi was the beacon of light shining on his dark waters enabling others to see him better.

"I guess that's true," she sighed, looking down at her feet, "but I know some people won't agree with what I have to say."

"There are fish like that in every sea," Eridan said, turning her chin up to look at him.

"Yeah, but I don't want to deal with them!" She pouted, blowing her cheeks up and expelling a jet of hot air in Eridan's face. Normally that would've messed up his entire hairstyle. Good thing he had put a ton of gel in his hair this morning.

Feferi laughed at this, "Doesn't this thing EVER move?" she asked, touching his carefully styled hair, "You used the whole bottle, didn't you?" she accused him.

"A Prince should ALWAYS look his best," Eridan responded, "there is nothing I can do about it."

"Nope," Feferi giggled, "it just makes you look dumb!"

"I'm not dumb!"

"Dumb!"

"Am NOT."

"Are too!" Feferi mocked him.

She laughed her head off and then grabbed his arm affectionately with a knowing stare, "it's almost time to make our appearance."

"Hmph."

"Oh come on, Mister Grumpy Gills. Don't be like that. I'm sorry," Feferi walked over to where he was hunched over, and that's when Eridan caught her by surprise.

He swooped her up in his arms and ran her over to the bathroom where he grabbed some of his hair gel. He pretended to squirt some in her hair as she squealed in surprise.

"Gotcha."

"ERIDAN!" Feferi couldn't hide her laughter. "I thought you were actually going to put your gross gel in my hair, you little-"

Eridan was already making his escape out the bathroom door, but not before Feferi leaped onto his back, sending them both spiraling onto the bed.

"Nice prank there. You definitely got me on that one," she smiled down on him, "but Vriska is still WAY better than you with that kind of stuff!"

"Well Vris has got her little windy human to teach her about that stuff. ALL my stuff is original," Eridan stated matter-of-factly, "I really should've gone into the magician business. People would've liked my tricks there."

"Oh, because people would PAY to have hair gel poured onto their lovely hair."

"Hey! Maybe they would!"

"And maybe they would throw fruit at your hair instead!"

"That's ridiculous."

"Or maybe they would-" but Feferi was interrupted by someone knocking on the front door.

"It starts in five minutes," a familiar voice whispered from behind the door. Eridan realized that it was Equius's voice. He hadn't gotten any less creepy over the years, and he had a feeling his sweaty friend had been listening to their entire conversation.

"WE WILL BE OUT IN A SECOND!" Feferi called as she stuck her tongue out at Eridan. "Dummy."

"Guppy."

Eridan walked Feferi out onto the balcony gentleman-style as the whole crowd looked up at them applauding. Eridan had never been so self-conscious in his life. He looked over the railing, to his relief, to find that all their friends from SBURB were at the front of the crowd; looking up at them and making ridiculous faces that he and Feferi couldn't help but laugh at. Even Sollux nodded up to Eridan from down below and Eridan nodded his approval back at him.

Feferi was ecstatic. Eridan could tell from the smiling faces in the crowd that mostly everyone adored her. Not as much as he did, of course, but definitely quite a lot. She waved to everyone in the crowd with a big smile on her face. It was much different from the nervous one that had been forced upon her a mere twenty minutes ago. Eridan was glad he was able to make her happy. Feferi deserved the best on this crazy day that was unfolding.

Terezi Pyrope soon walked up to the balcony with them, a large, toothy smile spreading across her cherry red lips. It was time to begin.

"You ready, Ampora?" Terezi giggled at him.

"You know I am," he replied, running his fingers over his hair, smoothing out everything one last time.

She patted him on the back. "Well then, get up to that podium and start us up!"

Eridan walked up and cleared his throat before he began, suddenly feeling nervous as he felt all eyes go to him. "Welcome, trolls and humans of the new Alternia. Thank all of you for coming today as we set out the new ground rules for our planet."

Eridan tried very, very hard to talk as clearly and as rationally as possible. Even though he had mostly gotten rid of his speech impairment sweeps ago, occasionally it would come back when he was feeling particularly stressed or uncomfortable. But Eridan absolutely would not allow it to happen today.

"Queen Feferi and head of the Alternian court, Terezi Pyrope, have written down new rules and changed some old ones over the course of these last few weeks. Today, they will share them with you as we rebuild our world for future generations to come."

Eridan bowed and stepped to the right as both Feferi and Terezi went up to the podium. Terezi stood slightly behind Feferi and nodded her head for her to begin.

"Shello everyone!" Feferi called to the tense audience, "I hope you are having a lovely day. As you know, me and Terezi here have made a few necessary adjustments to the rules of Alternia." A genuine smile spread over her face and Eridan could feel the crackling tension ebb away. It was good of her to relax everyone first, and then lay down the serious stuff that would undoubtedly cause controversy.

"For the first rule, we decided that it was time to crack down on the problem that some young trolls face with their Lusii," Feferi started.

Anyone who knew Feferi well would know the constant torment she felt when feeding dead trolls and other lusii to her lusis. Eridan himself knew, because he had helped her do it all those sweeps ago.

"So many trolls have been forced to feed others of their kind to their lusii for many different and unique reasons," Feferi continued, "no one should have to go through or deal with that in this new world we are building," she paused for a moment.

Eridan could hear some idiot in the crowd saying "_that happened_?"

Like the asshole didn't know.

"… So we have decided to prevent young grubs from getting lusii that they cannot handle by themselves." Feferi looked down over the crowd, and she found that her eyes had locked with Vriska's. The gaze was sad understanding that could only be shared by them.

Feferi's gaze was broken when people began cheering for the new rule. Eridan let out a sigh or relief. He could only hope that they would take a liking to the next rule.

Feferi looked a little nervous as she read the next one.

"As for the second new rule, mutant bloods will not be culled or harmed or discriminated against."

This caused a wave of discussion to break out over the crowd, and Eridan saw Karkat avert his eyes away shamefully. He had to do something.

Before he could do anything, someone shouted something from the crowd.

"And how come? Why should we save them? Everyone knows they're from the fiery pits of hell. Mutants should have never been hatched!"

Angry shouts of approval and disapproval rang out again and Feferi tried her best to get everyone to calm down, but Eridan knew it was his turn now.

"You want to know why?" He propelled his voice over everyone else's and people slowly turned to look at him. "Because mutants are just like you and me. They just have different blood. Blood shouldn't determine who you are as a person, anyway."

"And how do you know they're not bloodthirsty monsters, fancy pants?" Another troll yelled.

"Because," Eridan glared at them, "I know one. And he's my good friend and one of the bravest trolls I've ever known. But YOU wouldn't know that because you've never met one. And maybe if you would just open your eyes for a damn moment to consider that they are trolls, too. And they deserve a say in how they are treated."

This drew up a few surprised gasps and a respectful applause.

Eridan felt satisfied with himself, and Feferi took this opportunity to lead them into the next new rule.

"And branching off on what Eridan said," Feferi flashed a grateful smile at him, "the next new rule deals with the caste problem. This is probably the most important rule of all. From now on, it doesn't matter if your blood is yellow or purple or green or red. It doesn't matter if you're human or troll. All of you are equal."

She was met with a stunned silence, but Feferi held her ground and waited for someone to say something.

"But it's been this way for thousands of years!" yelled a frantic Highblood from somewhere to the left.

Eridan took a step forward again, but Feferi was already looking down upon them, her expression a determined frown. "That doesn't mean it's the right thing to do. And it doesn't mean we can't change things now. Just because our Ancestors decided it would be this way doesn't mean we have to do it the same way, too."

Soon the entire palace was erupted in cheers from Lowbloods and Highbloods alike. But there were still many faces that were still twisted in unhappy scowls of disapproval. Eridan got a nasty feeling he would be dealing with them very soon.

"And the last rule for now is…" Feferi blushed and didn't say anything for a few seconds. She then looked mischievously over at Eridan. "Would you like to read this one?"

He couldn't very well refuse her. "Sure."

Eridan took his place at the podium again and began reading the last rule Feferi had chickened out on. "The last rule is that no troll is required to…" Eridan's face went purple with embarrassment and shock. No, no, no. He. Had. To. Read. This.

"Something the matter, Eridan?" Feferi had a funny little grin on her face.

_You win._

"Nothin is the matter at all, actually," he would not let her have the satisfaction of knowing how he felt right now.

He took a deep breath.

"The last rule is that no troll is required to," Eridan choked out these last few words, "no one is required to fill a bucket anymore. The Imperial Drones will stop by your hives only if you _want_ to give them _the goods_."

The entire crowd burst out in laughter, and although he was totally humiliated, he felt like he had done something right by making the last part of their speech into a joke. Maybe the more disagreeable trolls might accept the rules easier now. Or maybe he had just screwed up everything for all time.

Before he realized what was happening, Feferi was pulling him off the podium as she called out, "Thank you for coming everyone! You may stay in the square until dawn for the celebration."

Eridan was soon lying down on his bed and he let out a sigh.

"Oh cod I messed everythin up…" he covered his face with his hands.

"Oh Eridan, no! You did amazing!" Feferi laughed and wrapped her arms around him. "You were just the comical distraction we needed!"

"Wow thanks. Now everyone thinks I'm desperate loser now or something."

"No they don't! Everyone thinks you're REELY funny now. You actually got some of those grumpy trolls to change sides."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. Stop doubting yourself!"

Eridan sighed and plopped down on their mass of pillows again, groaning while smothering his face in the feathery softness.

"Your grumpiness, will you escort me to the party down in the courtyard?" Feferi said in an elegant voice.

Eridan looked up at her and raised his eyebrows. "Fine. But I'm not staying long, okay?"

"All right, Eridan," Feferi rolled her eyes and led him over to the door.

Once they had arrived, they saw a mixture of a few of their friends the SBURB days along with random people Eridan barely even knew who all said Eridan did a _splendid_ job on his part of the speech.

Eridan just blushed and walked away after a while. He could talk to these guys later. But before he could escape back up to his room, he heard someone call his name.

"Hey Ampora. Where the fuck do you think you're going?"

Eridan turned around to find that Karkat was the one who had called his name. "Yes Kar? What is it?"

Karkat scowled, "Leaving the festivities so soon?"

"Yeah," Eridan sighed, "It's been a long and brutal day, thank you very much. Now I'll see you later." He turned around to continue walking but Karkat stopped him again.

"Listen, fuckface," Karkat leaned uncomfortably against the wall.

Eridan sighed, "Yes?"

"I… I wanted to thank you for standing up for me earlier today. Well not only me, but for other people like me in the future. So thanks."

"Oh. Well, you're welcome, Kar. It was my pleasure. You're my friend, after all."

Karkat nodded, embarrassed, and started walking away. But not before he gave Eridan the middle finger, shouting, "SEE YOU SOON, FISH FACE!"

Eridan wasn't even mad. He laughed back at Karkat's retreating body. Eridan understood perfectly well that what had just happened was Karkat's way of showing affection. He was glad he was able to help his friend. To be honest, Eridan didn't expect any form of a thank you or compliment from anyone, but he was pleased to hear that people appreciated his efforts. Especially since his relationship with Karkat was still in the process of healing after his breakdown while playing SBURB.

Eridan was debating going back to walking around with Feferi when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

Eridan chuckled before turning around, "back so soon, Kar?"

But there was no one there. Eridan narrowed his eyes. He swore he had heard something. Maybe it was just a dumb prank.

He took a step forward and heard something crumple under his foot. He scooped up the crumpled up paper and opened it suspiciously, his eyes scanning the page.

_Ampora,_

_I must say that I expected more from you. You've let down your ancestors as well as the dignity of the Highbloods. You are a disgrace and a fool for allowing the Lowbloods taste freedom. My sources tell me that just a few sweeps ago, YOU were the one planning mass genocide for the Lowbloods. You've grown soft, Ampora. You and the government are weak. You best watch your back. You will pay. Feferi will pay. Your friends will pay. Don't think we will follow these new rules._

It was signed from no one.

Eridan choked out a gasp before he grew angry, trying to cover up how scared he was right now. "You fuckin bastard," he muttered, crumpling up the paper and running back up to his bedchamber. He wasn't really in the mood to party anymore.

Eridan stopped for a moment and debated telling Feferi about it, but he shook his head and kept pushing on. He didn't want to ruin her good time. He would tell her all about the letter tomorrow.

There was a lot to think about.

* * *

**Hey guys! =D**

**Kind of a bit of a cliff-hanger, huh?**

**I hoped you liked the first chapter of my first fanfiction in history. (more is coming soon after I get back from my vacation)**

**Please drop me a comment or two! (it inspires me to write more)**

**Thank you so much for reading!**


	2. An Unlikely Ally

**Your name is SOLLUX CAPTOR and you have a shitload of programming to do.**

The clicking of the keyboard drowned out all other sounds. Tap. Tap. Click. Click. It wouldn't stop.

Sollux stared at the computer screen blankly; allowing himself to become lost in the programming he was doing. The calculations and numbers went on and on with no desire to stop. Sleep had merely become something Sollux wanted, not needed.

Sollux stood up and snapped the blinds shut in his small apartment so he couldn't see anything outside the closed walls of his confinement. He looked over the small street below with a pang of sadness. The problem was, he couldn't understand why he felt the way he did.

He was jolted out of his daze when the ding of a new message from pesterchum interrupted his endless typing. He hesitated for a moment, as if unsure whether he should answer.

**carcinoGeneticist** (CG) began pestering **twinArmageddons** (TA) at 6:23 pm

**CG**: I KNOW YOU'RE THERE, YOU BLITHERING ASSHOLE.

**CG**: AND YOU'RE PROBABLY CODING AS USUAL. NO REAL SURPRISE THERE.

**CG**: I'M ASKING FOR SOME HELP.

**CG**: THAT'S RIGHT: HELP.

**CG**: THIS IS YOUR ONE CHANCE TO HELP ME OUT.

**CG**: JUST GET THE FUCK OFF THE COMPUTER. PLACE THE GODDAM MOUSE ON THE TABLE AND LEAVE IT BE. ALL THIS SHIT WILL BE THERE WHEN YOU GET BACK.

**CG**: I KNOW YOU CAN SEE THIS.

**CG**: YOU'RE ALWAYS ON YOUR COMPUTER. EVEN MORE THAN ME, BELIEVE IT OR NOT, WHICH IS SAYING SOMETHING.

**TA**: iim bu2y kk

**CG**: I FIND THAT PRETTY HARD TO FUCKING BELIEVE.

**CG**: THERE MUST BE SOME POINT ON THIS LINEAR TIMELINE THAT YOU HAVE SOME FREE TIME.

**CG**: NO, I GOT IT. YOU FINISH YOUR STUPID ASS CODING BULLSHIT, AND THEN YOU SURF THE WEB LIKE AN ASSHOLE.

**CG**: I BET YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT IN WEEKS.

**CG**: ARE YOU AVOIDING SOMETHING?

**CG**: OR MAYBE YOU'VE BEEN LOCKED UP IN THERE SO LONG THAT YOU FORGOT ALL THE DEEP SHIT WE WADDED IN TOGETHER WHILE PLAYING SBURB.

**CG**: I'M YOUR GODDAM FRIEND.

**TA**: ii havent forgotten 2hiit

**TA**: ugh ii wouldnt expect you two under2tand the iimportance of thii2 2tuff iim doiing

**CG**: OH, OKAY. NOW YOUR JOB INCLUDES CRAPPY, TOP SECRET SHIT THAT YOU CAN'T TELL ANYONE ABOUT? THAT'S NEW.

**TA**: ii got promoted you diip2hiit

**TA**: they needed me for more iimportant thiing2 than 2iimple coding

**CG**: OH I BET. HOW WONDERFUL AND AMAZING! I'M SO FUCKING HAPPY FOR YOU.

**CG**: SOLLASS CRAPTOR IS A BIG SHOT NOW.

**TA**: 2hut up kk

**TA**: ii diidnt choo2e to do thii2

**TA**: ii guess ii wa2 the mo2t qualiifiied to do all thii2 dangerou2 work

**TA**: ii hate iit

**CG**: ARE YOU DOING TO TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK YOU'RE DOING IN THERE OR NOT?

**CG**: SO WE CAN GET A SHOVE IN THE ASS TO MOVE ON WITH WHAT I NEED TO ASK YOU.

**TA**: iim not 2uppo2ed to

**TA**: iit2 a 2ecret

**CG**: YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW HOW TO BREAK THE GODDAM RULES.

**CG**: THAT'S HOW WE BROKE SBURB.

**CG**: AND ITS LIKE NOT LIKE I'M GOING TO RUN MY FUCKING MOUTH AROUND THE CITY SCREAMING ALL THE CRAP YOU JUST TOLD ME.

**CG**: THAT WOULD BE VERY SHITTY OF ME.

Sollux clenched his teeth together and sighed. He would have to tell his friend all the unsettling stuff that had occurred, although he didn't really want to. But in the end, keeping it from Karkat would be like keeping a fuse from a lit bomb. Sollux almost laughed at how angry Karkat would be if he kept up this secrecy.

**TA**: alriight

**TA**: but iif ii tell you have two promii2e to keep your mouth 2hut

**CG**: YEAH, I'LL KEEP MY MOUTH SHUT YOU DISTRUSTFUL SHITBAG.

**TA**: okay

**TA**: well theyre haviing me do all thii2

**TA**: well

**TA**: 2ecuriity 2tuff

**TA**: and iim not really 2uppo2ed to leave my liiviing quarter2 untiil ii fiinii2h all of iit

**TA**: iit2 really fuckiing 2tre22ful

**CG**: WAIT JUST A FUCKING SECOND.

**CG**: THAT MAKES ALMOST NO SENSE.

**CG**: WHAT KIND OF GOVERNMENT OFFICIAL WOULD HOLD YOU UP THERE FOR WEEKS ON END WITHOUT LETTING YOU CATCH A BREAK?

**TA**: you do the math

**CG**: IS ERIDAN DOING THIS TO YOU?

**CG**: UGH MORE GODDAM DRAMA. OF COURSE. HOW COULD I HAVE ALLOWED THE THOUGHT THAT YOU TWO COULD GET ALONG PASS THROUGH MY THINKPAN?

**CG**: I'LL TALK TO THE SHITBAG.

**TA**: no not eriidan

**TA**: come on kk thiink

**TA**: but dont 2ay iit aloud

**TA**: ii get the feeliing theyve been trackiing all my me22age2 for 2iign2 of diifiiance

**CG**: ...

**CG**: IT LOOKS LIKE THIS WAS A FORCED PROMOTION.

**CG**: OR NOT A PROMOTION AT ALL.

**CG**: YOU AREN'T JUST DOING SECURITY STUFF UP THERE, ARE YOU?

**TA**: iit2 more than 2ecuriity

**TA**: ii have to do malware two hack iinto people2 computer2 and read fiile2 and other bull2hiit two

**TA**: they want me two help them wiith the diirty work

**TA**: they were very angry after the 2peech la2t niight, kk

**CG**: SHIT. I THINK I UNDERSTAND WHERE THIS FRUITY RUMPASS FUCKWAGON IS GOING.

**CG**: ARE YOU BEING HELD AGAINST YOUR WILL UP THERE TO DO STUFF FOR THEM?

**TA**: diing diing diing look who2e a wiinner

**CG**: JESUS CHRIST I'M AN IDIOT.

**CG**: OH GOD.

**TA**: what

**CG**: IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW. EVERY LAST FUCKING THING.

**TA**: what make2 2en2e

**CG**: A LOT OF FUCKING BULLSHIT MAKES SENSE NOW.

**CG**: I HATE TO TELL YOU THIS, BUT WERE RUNNING OUT OF TIME, SO I JUST SENT ERIDAN OVER TO YOU WITHOUT YOUR CONSENT. THIS HAPPENED BASICALLY BECAUSE YOU TOOK TOO LONG TO TELL ME ALL THIS CRAP.

**CG**: HE HAS A LOT OF SHIT PILED HIGH ON HIS PLATE.

**TA**: what the fuck kk

**TA**: why do ii have two deal wiith hiim

**TA**: you a22hole

**TA**: there ii2 ab2olutely no way iim putting up wiith hiim agaiin

Sollux took deep a breath so he wouldn't smash his computer up right then and there. Why the heck was Ampora coming over to his place? And why would Karkat, knowing their history, think this was some marvelous idea?

It made no sense. No sense.

This day was going to be absolutely horrific.

**CG**: STOP BEING A SELFISH BASTARD FOR ONCE, SOLLUX.

**CG**: YOU COULD TRY TO HELP US OUT INSTEAD OF HELPING THE BAD GUYS INSTEAD.

**TA**: iim not on the bad guy2 2iide

**TA**: but iim al2o not helpiing that 2leazebag out

**CG**: YES YOU ARE.

**CG**: DO IT FOR ME, ASSCRACK.

**CG**: AND LEARN TO KNOW THE FACTS FIRST BEFORE YOU DENY HELPING SOMEONE.

**CG**: HE SHOULD BE AT YOUR APARTMENT ANY MINUTE.

**TA**: diid you giive hiim my addre22

**CG**: NO.

**TA**: ii fuckiing hate you kk

**CG**: I HAVE GOT TO GO. I'LL PROBABLY SEE YOU SOON THOUGH.

**TA**: ugh fiine

**TA**: but iim goiing to punch you iin the face when ii 2ee you next

**CG**: GOOD LUCK WITH THAT, SIR STRONG.

**carcinoGeneticist** (GC) ceased pestering **twinArmageddons** (TA) at 7:25 pm

Sollux dumbly let his arms drop to his side. Eridan was coming over there any minute to ask for help about some ridiculous problem he was having.

"Karkat. Futhking. Vantas," Sollux narrowed his eyes and clenched his hands together. His so-called friend just set him up with a potential hate date with his greatest enemy.

Something was very wrong here indeed. And Sollux had zero desire to get caught up in it.

He considered barricading his door and putting a "CONDEMNED" sign on the front to scare Eridan off, but decided he was too lazy to try that. He sat there for a few long seconds before he heard it.

"Hello? Sol, you there?"

The pitch of his voice made Sollux's stomach churn. He made sure to wait a good minute before he bothered to get up from his comfortable chair.

Sollux stomped over to the door and flung it open with his psiioniics with more force than he meant. Sollux regretted it instantly as it banged against the wall to the right making an indent. He stood there awkwardly for a moment before he cleared his throat and began.

"Hello, Ampora," Sollux gritted his teeth, "what bringth you here?" Sollux put his shoulders back in a stiff politeness and bowed his head. He wasn't sure Eridan could see it, but his eyes were definitely narrowed under his 3D glasses in a hostile glare.

"Hey Captor," came the short reply. Eridan looked at the floor as if he didn't want to meet his eyes. Sollux grinned. He definitely had the upper hand this time. Eridan had always made 'severe eye contact' to the point of making the other person uncomfortable. He wasn't nearly as frightening when he wasn't doing it.

Sollux blinked. Eridan looked like a shell of his old self. He was pulling on his scarf and cape nervously as if he was embarrassed to be in front of the psiioniic. Sollux noted happily that he looked a little pathetic and sad like that.

"What is it?" Sollux now stood a little straighter at the door.

"Well," Eridan looked at the ground and sadness clouded his face. Sollux stifled a groan. He could tell it was going to take a while to crack this shell.

"Spit it out, Ampora. Before I make you tell me."

"Uh… I can't talk about it out here. Let me come inside," Eridan made a move forward.

"WOAH! No," Sollux focused his energy around Eridan and held him in place with his arms outstretched, "are you fucking crazy? You cant justh come into my hive uninvited. I mean… I mean… How can I even trust you? After everything you've done to me in the game…" Sollux faltered.

"Sol-,"

"Do NOT call me that," Sollux cut in, pushing Eridan further off his front stoop.

"Okay, SOLLUX," Eridan frowned and allowed a hint of sarcasm to grace his voice, "you can trust me, alright? I mean I trust you… kind of. Why else would I have come here? For love advice?" He clenched his teeth bitterly, "I would have normally gone to see Kar or Kan for that shit, but this is a special case."

"What kind of special case? And what can I help with that your wonderful imperial guards cannot?" Sollux could still feel a quadrant-related chat coming on. He groaned inwardly. He was literally going to break Karkat's neck when he saw him.

Eridan checked to the left and right and then behind before hissing, "it's about the princess."

"W-what?" Sollux recoiled in surprise and a flash of blue and red sparks crackled over his body, "what is this about? You know I love Aradia. Feferi is my good friend. I swear to god, if you're jealouth, just go home!"

"No," Sollux thought he saw a flash of fear in Eridan's eyes, "no. I know you love Aradia. That isn't what I'm talking about, dummy. It's much more serious… I don't think you understand."

"THEN WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?" Sollux slammed Eridan into the wall beside them. He was fed up with these cryptic answers. He was fed up with Eridan in general.

"Please don't do this, Sollux. I need you help… FOR HER SAKE!" Eridan withered against the wall. A little more and he could break him. His powers had advanced over the sweeps since they had their first battles together.

Sollux squeezed tight on Eridan's body, ready to finish him off. Sollux shot him up into the sky, prepared to shoot him into the stone below. Just as he was about to a small, stupid voice called his conscience told him to stop.

He listened.

Sollux's arms went limp and Eridan soon was dropped forcefully on his butt. He winced from the crash and rubbed his arms as if the psiioniics had made him chilly.

"Thanks. You asshat," Eridan coughed as he stood up shakily.

"You're lucky you got off so easy, your murderous tyranny."

"I am not a tyrant, you ignorant buffoon," Eridan defended himself, "you were the idiot that attacked me. I was just here to ask for some goddam help, and instead I get thrown on my ass."

"Yeah. Well I'm not going to apologize, if that's what you're implying," Sollux crossed his arms and leaned against the side of his door.

"Sol-LUX," Eridan caught himself, "this isn't about any ridiculous quadrant problems or anything as petty or stupid as you may be thinking. Alright?"

"Yeah, okay. Your evidence still proves you to be a thorry, stupid, loner who picks on people out of sheer JEALOUTHY. You make me sick, Ampora."

"Jealousy? No, it was never about goddam jealousy," Eridan could tell they were both thinking about the accident where he had lost it. But that wasn't about jealousy at all. It was more like he was angry with someone because they wouldn't trust him despite his kindness for her best interests.

Eridan looked up for a second, then continued, "I like my life the way that it is, thank you very much. Nothing I've done has been out of jealousy, you moron. Do you need anymore convincing? Look- if we wait any longer here… I… I might not even see her again," Eridan's voice went very quiet before he turned the volume up into a shout, "DO YOU FUCKING UNDERSTAND?"

Sollux stepped back into the wall, surprised at the burst of anger, "yes… alright. You can come in," a certain feeling bubbled inside Sollux and he didn't like it. Fear? No. He couldn't quite place it.

"Don't mind if I do," he sidestepped past a scowling Sollux, but Eridan's usual smirk was not there, "thank you for inviting me inside your hive," Sollux thought he even might have meant his thank you.

Sollux herded them both into his apartment and took a seat on one of the recooperacoon squish chairs that he had crafted himself. The basic design was a smooth white shell filled with the familiar green ooze. A transparent but strong cover lay over the top, letting you sink into it without ruining your clothes. It didn't work nearly as well because you weren't exactly touching the slime with your bare body, but Sollux enjoyed it anyway. Eridan eyed it suspiciously.

"It's new technology, Eridan," Sollux patted the chairs, "very comfortable. It's not going to bite your ass."

"I think I might stand instead," Eridan coughed and looked away. Sollux raised his eyebrows and then used his better judgment to use his psiioniics to crumple Eridan onto the seat like a wad of paper.

"HEY!" yelped Eridan in a high voice. A very high, almost girlish voice as Sollux noticed, "stop using those goddam powers, will you?! They're very unsettling. I don't want to have to watch my back every second I'm with you."

"Uh, that's the point Eridan. I'm trying to keep you on your toes," Sollux snickered at Eridan's dark expression.

"Great. I'll keep that in mind," Eridan replied with his arms crossed. The shove of the psiioniics had wedged him deep into the sopor chair and that forced him to resort to staring at the ceiling with malice.

"Do… you want any hel-," Sollux offered, extending a hand.

"NO. I don't need any help, thanks very much," Eridan answered quickly, swatting his hand away while trying to shift into a better position, "we should focus on why I'm here."

"Of course. Your problem. Fire away, Ampora."

"Yeah okay," Eridan smoothed his hair with one hand and took a deep breath, "I got a letter last night."

"And? What did it say?" Sollux persisted, trying to move things along.

"You can read it yourself," Eridan jammed his free hand in his pocket and made a wild toss at Sollux that strangely landed the crumpled paper right on his lap.

Sollux's eyes ran like lightning down the paper, "okay. So someone threatened you. What's the big deal? These people are obviously not capable of ACTUALLY doing all this… stuff… right?" Sollux heard Eridan sniffle on the last word.

"Y-yeah," Eridan choked, "some big fucking joke. What a laugh."

"Eridan," Sollux looked down at him as he uneasily checked the paper for a signature, "…what happened?"

"F-Feferi."

"…What about her?" Sollux prodded Eridan.

"I-I-I," Eridan stuttered, barely able to speak.

"What the FUCK happened to FF?" Sollux tried to grab him by the collar, but he found physical strength wasn't enough. Instead he used his psiioniics to hold his neck in place. "Tell. Me. NOW,"

"SHE'S GONE! KIDNAPPED, MATTER OF FACT… FROM RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE. WHICH MEANS WHOEVER WROTE ME THAT GODDAM NOTE WASN'T PLAYING AROUND!" Eridan shouted, the truth flying through his mouth like knives. They stabbed Sollux.

"They kidnapped her," Eridan said more quietly, "I couldn't do anything. I w-woke up… and she w-was gone. Gone," Eridan breathed, his face completely white as if he had seen a ghost.

"YOU," Sollux gasped, sprinting his fingers through his hair. Feferi in the hands of the enemy… Sollux didn't want to think about it. They were probably doing something horrible to her- to his good friend- all because of this lump of lard sitting in front of him. "YOU LET IT HAPPEN! EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT! The fact that she still loves you makes my skin boil. I should've killed you when I had the chance," Sollux trembled as he spoke, his knuckles turning white.

"I'm sick and tired of you blaming everything on me!" Eridan clenched his teeth together in defense, but somehow he still looked defeated.

"HOW CAN I NOT BLAME YOU WHEN IT'S ACTUALLY YOUR FAULT? It's like letting a murderer go, which you are by the way, without putting him on trial."

"If I had caused this, I wouldn't have come to you in the first place. I would shoot a harpoon in my throat before I would ever hurt Feferi," Eridan's voice became a low rumble and Sollux had to lean down it hear it.

"… Eridan…," he couldn't trust him. No, no, no.

"Sollux."

"I know, Eridan... I know that you love her… I'm sorry," shame speckled Sollux's face. He had overreacted.

"Sol…lux," Eridan's voice was even quieter.

"…What?"

"You're… chok…ing me," Eridan sputtered, his face flushed a dark shade of purple.

"Oh god!" Sollux let off his psiioniics and stumbled back into his own chair. He listened to Eridan's gasping for air for a few guilty seconds before he decided they should continue, "are you okay?"

"No, Sollux. NO I AM NOT FUCKING OKAY. My matesprit has been kidnapped and I have just been CHOKED half to DEATH. And you ask me if I'm 'okay'," Eridan looked up at him and glared.

"My mistake."

"And… please, get me out of this ridiculous chair RIGHT NOW. I HAVE NO NEED TO DISCUSS MY DILEMMA WITH. YOUR. CEILING!" Eridan shouted frantically scrambling about as he was slowly losing it, purple tears running down his face.

"Alright, I will! Just calm down!" Sollux didn't waste a moment more as he lifted Eridan out of the chair and onto the ground.

It took Eridan a while to look up again and by then his glasses had slipped down his face, which definitely obscured his vision. He covered his face in his hands and sobbed. It was a little embarrassing for a prince.

Sollux had never seen Eridan in such emotional turmoil ever. He felt an urge to grab his camera and take a picture out of spite, but instead he sat there looking down at the sobbing wreckage that was his enemy. He could offer no support but the ability to listen and not make idiotic comments. He locked his fingers together and waited for the hurricane to get out of Eridan's system so the cold, emotionless tundra could take over again.

Sollux was silent for a moment longer, "who did it?"

"H-how-w am I supposed to know-w? You saw-w the letter!" Another violent sob fest shot through Eridan's body.

"Hey! Get it together!" Sollux couldn't believe Eridan was acting like this. It was almost disturbing to see him so upset.

"Don't y-you see? I've l-lost her A-AGAIN. All b-because we changed the rules! If w-we had just… kept EV-VERYTHING the same…!" Eridan looked up at the ceiling again, "she w-wouldn't be gone."

"No you did the right thing, Eridan," Sollux tried to capture the right words, "it was brave of you guys to do that."

"Of c-course. But… Sol, she m-might be…"

"Don't say it… Don't go there," Sollux sniffed and gave himself a second. They needed to start looking now. He may not enjoy working with Eridan, but his other friend was in danger.

"I w-won't. I won't assume the worst this time around."

"Good for you. And," Sollux patted him roughly on the back, "I've decided to take Karkat's advice and help you out."

"WHAT," Eridan couldn't hide the shock in his voice, "I mean. Yes. Thank you."

"And I've got a place where we can look first. But you aren't going to like it," Sollux warned.

"It's fine. I think I'm ready," something that resembled a smile flashed across Eridan's face, but then again it could have been him picking food from his teeth. Sollux couldn't quite tell.

The two boys sprinted away from the apartment, the sun already retreating behind the sea of trees. A spark lit up Sollux's heart. He had been waiting for this kind of thing for a long time. He missed the excitement of SBURB, although he was nervous that he had left his hacking job unfinished. They would surely come for him in a few days. But all of that meant nothing if he could do something to save Feferi.

"Bring it on, assholes!" He shouted to the wind, finally free.

* * *

**WOW this took me a while, didn't it?**

**The truth is, I took a little break from this story to figure out what plot points and character interactions I wanted. (plus, back to school was pretty crazy and I didn't have much time for writing) But I hope to continue it from now on!**

**thank you for the positive feedback- it really means a lot to me!**

**please enjoy & drop me a comment! =D**


	3. Of 8-Sided Dice and Islands

"Sollux," Eridan panted, "can you please enlighten me on where the hell we're going exactly?"

They had been sprinting like madmen for the past two hours and Eridan felt like he was about to collapse and die. The tight pants Kanaya tailored for him certainly didn't help either. Eridan scowled in realization at the fact that it was probably her intention for them to be uncomfortable.

"Are… you… getting… out… of… shape… Eridan?" Sollux wheezed, "becauth… I'm… sure… NOT!" They were now running side-by-side, breathing heavily, while throwing bitter insults at each other. Other trolls looked at them suspiciously and then with shock as they realized that the idiot with the tight pants was their emperor.

Eridan shoved Sollux in the ribs. To Eridan's glee, he looked more than ready to topple over. It was no longer a question of who was going to win this race. "Ha, oh god. Don't even kid yourself. You know I'm the king of exercise," Eridan called upon his last ounce of strength and totally surpassed Sollux in an awesome display of physical finesse.

"Hey… Eridan… that's great… but… STOP!" Sollux called out to him, but Eridan was not about to stop for that pathetic cry of mercy. He was sure this moment of triumph would last forever.

"YEAH, YOU JUST KEEP RUNNING, SLOWPOKE," Eridan grinned and looked back, "you moronic, out of shA-OOOOF," the wind was knocked out of Eridan as he was knocked him on his back.

"GOD, you really are an idiot," Sollux's voice boomed from far away in Eridan's brain, "I was trying to warn you, dumbass!"

"S…orr…y. I g…guess I'm too fast for my own good," Eridan coughed and gave a light chuckle as stars danced over his line of vision.

"Yeah, next time you shouldn't be idiotic enough to risk the awesome life of someone like me!" Another person joined in somewhat sarcastically. The voice sounded fairly familiar… Eridan's brain throbbed as he tried to remember who it was. He scowled and turned his head to the right, trying to pinpoint where the second voice was coming from.

Eridan yelped with a start when he realized who he was looking at.

He was staring into the unamused and somewhat dirty face of Vriska Serket.

**Your name is VRISKA SERKET, and this idiot just rammed into you with the force of a freight train.**

**You know him, of course, which makes it all the easier to POUND HIS SORRY ASS.**

"Well, what a pleasant surprise. It's my faaaavorite person," Vriska sat up and brushed some debris off her face.

"Oh great. It's you," Eridan accused, poking a finger right in her stupid face. Vriska rolled her eyes and pretended to bite it while Eridan pulled it back in horror.

"Why are you in a hurry?" She said coldly, smiling slightly as she took a step towards him.

"Nowhere… nowhere at all, Vris."

"Perhaps a wizarding conference?" Vriska smirked and stuck her tongue out. Eridan bitterly smirked back. God, she was just so awful. Vriska knew he had gotten over wizards sweeps ago. It's not like he still played around with his figurines… ever.

Sollux remained serious. "If only our problems were that simple."

"What do you guys mean? Pssh, there isn't anything remotely interesting on this side of town, anyway. I don't get why you're here," she crossed her arms waiting for some sort of explanation.

"We were looking for you," Sollux answered with a level tone.

"We were looking for… …HER? WHAT?" Eridan swung his head around to look at Sollux. They both disliked Vriska. Eridan had disliked her since birth, but Sollux had come to avoid her after his incident with the mind honey.

"Yes, Eridan. We need her help."

"No we don't. Are you crazy?!" Eridan gaped at him with a confused look plastered across his face.

"The more the merrier," Sollux shoved Eridan hard in the side in payback for earlier.

"THIS IS A SERIOUS AND PRIVATE PROBLEM!"

"She can actually help us! Think about all her treasure-hunting experience." Sollux flicked Eridan's scarf over his head in annoyance.

"Feferi isn't that kind of fuckin' treasure, Sollux," Eridan hissed lowly so only Sollux could hear.

"Yeah! But-,"

"What the CRAP are you two talking about?" Vriska butted in, "I haven't even agreed to help anyone yet, much less you idiots!"

There was a bit of silence as Sollux and Eridan glared at each other.

"Yeah. Okay. I have absolutely no clue what's going on right now, but if you'd excuse me, I actually have something really awesome and important to do. And you're in my way," Vriska put her hands on her hips and tapped her foot, "make it quick."

"Humph. Yeah. Where are you going, missy?" Eridan put his nose up in the air. What could possibly be more exciting or important than finding a kidnapper?

"If you're that freaking curious… I'm going treasure hunting!" Vriska smiled proudly and adjusted her glasses.

"Treasure hunting or _plundering_, Vriska?" Eridan raised an eyebrow.

"Hey, does it even matter, mister panties-in-a-twist?" Vriska prodded him in the shoulder.

"You know, I seriously could arrest you for this. I can call up Terezi right now and she would slap your sorry, cheating ass into handcuffs in eight seconds," Eridan warned.

"Oh come on! You're even LESS fun than you were before!" Vriska laughed, slapping her knee, "look. If you come with me, maaaaybe I'll think about helping you with your stupid problem you can't seem to tell me."

"You're theriously inviting us to come with you?" Sollux gave her a questioning look.

"Look you two. I'm not gonna lie- I could definitely use both your skills for this mission! The real question is whether you want my help or not."

"Do… we want her help?" Eridan started.

"Yes we do," Sollux hissed, and then he raised his voice and made it official, "WE ACCEPT."

"Great! I knew you two would come along," Vriska sauntered between the boys and flung her arms around their necks in a chokehold as they walked painfully to the beach. Embarrassingly, it took a while for them to struggle free.

"Christ, you guys are weak!" Vriska commented as she discarded them on the sand and looked up. "Ahh, there's my ship!"

Eridan and Sollux both looked up at the medium sized vessel in awe. It was a pretty decent looking ship, to say the least. It was made of wood with what looked like a steel bottom. There was a large top deck, bottom deck, lookout tower, and everything. It reminded Eridan of their bittersweet FLARP days.

"All aboard the S.S. Pupa Pan," called Vriska, who had already climbed up the hull and was swinging a ladder down to them.

"Wow. What's with the name?" Eridan scoffed, "Isn't that Tavros' FLARP character?"

"Shut up, Amporduh. He picked the goddam name, not me. I would never give anything I owned that stupid of a name," Vriska said, blushing. Crap. She shouldn't have let him name it. It was probably the laughing stock of the shipyard and all of Alternia by now. Why had she been so stupid? She ought to change the name to the S.S. Kismesis.

"It's a good ship though, Vris. Even if the name is shit," Eridan offered.

"Thanks. How kind of you," Vriska said through clenched teeth, "because of your kindness, I'm giving you the job of careening the deck."

"What?! I'm not going to scrub your goddam filthy paddleboat. That job seriously sucks."

"Deal with it, Ampora. And don't call the S.S. Pupa Pan a paddleboat," Vriska flicked her hair and manned her position at the wheel, "are we ready to embark on an adventure?"

"Aye, aye, Vrithka," Sollux said with as much enthusiasm as a boulder.

"Eridan, you untie us from the docks. Sollux, you use your weirdo powers to send us off into the ocean."

"They are called _psiioniics_," Sollux informed her.

"I don't give a crap!" Vriska enlightened him, "the afternoon is still young!"

"All right Vriska. Your ship is ready to fuckin' fly. Just like Pupa Pan," Eridan's joke was met with Sollux's quiet laugh and silence from an annoyed Vriska. Eridan held a bunch of ropes in his hands, walking over to the storage compartment to deposit them.

"Are you guys ready to see my "weirdo powerth" in action?" Sollux focused his energy around the ship as he gently surged it forwards towards the sea. The shore slowly got smaller behind them as Sollux expertly dodged coral and other unidentified floating objects.

"Ugh, can't you start us up any faster? I've seen Tavros can move faster than this and he can't even walk," Vriska whined from the top deck, leaning over the captain's wheel dramatically.

Eridan saw Sollux's eye twitch in anger. Eridan grabbed onto the side of the ship for dear life, knowing what was to come. "You wanna see fast?" Sollux exploded, "I'll SHOW YOU FAST!" Sollux burst the ship through the harbor at breakneck speed, causing a mini tidal wave as Vriska was violently thrown back, hitting a wooden pole. "Isn't Physics amazing?" Sollux grinned.

"Urk… Yeah. Nice one, asshole," Vriska winced through gritted teeth, "now steer us towards that little island over there. We'll keep going past it and into open sea," Vriska confirmed, pulling out the treasure map from her pirate coat.

They all gathered on the top deck with her as she sat up, rubbing her backside. "So. Now that we've got some time to talk, how's life?" She questioned, tucking the map back into her pocket.

"Absolute shit," Eridan said bitterly, rubbing his face with his hands, "and it's gotten worse since you dragged me on your paddleboat."

Vriska looked to Sollux questioningly with a look that said, "_what's with him?"_ but Sollux just avoided her gaze, "things have been pretty bad for me too, I guess."

"Hey, same here! I guess we have more in common than we realize, eh?" Vriska let out a low laugh, "but come on. Don't hold the secret from me any longer. What's the deal?"

Sollux glanced at Eridan who was staring angrily at the wooden floor. He took a deep breath. "Feferi... has been kidnapped."

"Oh, well that's just-," Vriska's eyes widened and her jaw dropped, "what the HELL?"

"Yeah. It's that. Fuckin'. Bad," Eridan hissed.

"Dammit. Your stupid fucking speech must have pissed off all the wrong people! I really should've seen this coming," Vriska frowned, her brow furrowed.

"So basically," Sollux finished, "we need to find her and whatever smart guy decided it was a good idea to kidnap her."

"That's barely fair. She's done nothing wrong," Vriska shook her head, "do you know who did it?"

"No one signed the note," Eridan clenched his hands together, "but you can read it if you want." He pulled it out and handed it to her.

Vriska read it, then inspected it, and repeated the process at least three times, "this is pretty fucking creepy. How could they even know about all that genocide and doomsday shit you did with me? Unless," she looked around, her eyes sweeping the shore in the distance, "it was someone we know."

"Don't fuckin' say that. I know… we've all grown apart these last two or three sweeps after breaking SBURB… but I don't want to deal with a traitor," Eridan confessed, "I know a lot of people hate me. I mean, you guys do, but it's one thing to hurt me, and another thing to hurt someone I love."

Sollux felt that Eridan's tears would be coming again, so he patted him on the back comfortingly. He wasn't sure what else he should do.

The three of them hung there quietly for a minute or two before Vriska cleared her throat.

"Alright," Vriska patted down her coat and tucked an annoying strand of hair behind her ear, "you know what? I'll help you guys."

"You will?" Eridan sniffled.

"Yeah. Don't get too used to it," she gave him a gentle smirk and punched his shoulder with half her usual velocity.

"Why are you so willing to help?" Eridan couldn't hide his surprise.

"Oh come on, Eridan. I'm not as fucking heartless as you think I am. Feferi is my friend, and I'll help her, alright?"

"Well thanks for that," Eridan replied. He thought he should probably do something to show his gratefulness, but he stayed still in a silent salute. "Ahem. So… what's up with you, Vriska?"

She looked left and across the sea, "lots of treasure hunting. Battling to the death. You know, the usual."

"That's cool," Eridan smiled. She really hadn't changed. Her life seemed a lot more action-packed than his.

"Not really, though," she shook her head and huffed out a cloud of hot air. When she caught Eridan and Sollux staring at her, she glared at them, "it's nothing! Here: Let's land on this island and get what we want already."

"What exactly are we trying to find here?" Sollux asked as he swung the ship into the cove, eyes flashing blue and red.

"If we're going to save Feferi, I'm going to need my trusty dice back."

"Someone stole your dice from you? Pfft, have you lost your edge?" Eridan accused while covering his mouth with his hand princess-style.

"I'm still as sharp as the spear I used to stab Tavros," said Vriska icily, "I dropped them on this dumb island and I need to get them back, thanks."

Their arguing went on for a few more minutes as Sollux scowled at them and sighed. God. They were both so annoying. "Hello? Guys, we're here. How about you two stop bickering about shit and get off the boat?" Sollux advised.

"Shut up Sol, no one asked you!" Eridan stuck his tongue out and walked past him, laughing slightly. It was a bit of a high and funny laugh. Sollux couldn't grasp how Feferi could stand it.

"Of course, Eridan! I was just making sure you'd be the first to get off. Ladies first, you know," Sollux made a motion for him to step off while Vriska smiled evilly in the background.

"Oh, you guys fuckin' SUCK," Eridan accused as he thundered down the plank and onto the sand below. Sollux and Vriska followed and sunk down into sand next to him.

Vriska surveyed the area for a few minutes with her spyglass. "Hmm. If my calculations are correct, I dropped it somewhere in this cave." Eridan and Sollux both rolled their eyes at her.

"Vris, it's not like your dice are gonna just get up one day and decide to chill out on the beach. Calculations aren't even needed. Either you left your goddam dice in the cave, or you didn't. It's as simple as that."

"Thanks for your input, Amporblah. Way to ruin the excitement of adventure," Vriska muttered unhappily, tucking away her spyglass, "I was dying to use this thing."

"Well, tough luck. Let's go and get this over with," Eridan started towards the cave and stopped just as the darkness overtook their line of vision. It was a fairly large cave opening; with long tendrils of lichen and various berries hanging from the curved yet jagged rocky rim. Eridan had the urge to pick off some of the berries to save for later in their journey when something caught his attention. "Do you guys… smell, uh, well, something funny?"

Sollux stopped short just behind Eridan and took a whiff. He recoiled a little and stuck his tongue out. " Yuck. I guess I do. It sort of smells like chemicals… Chemicals and fire."

"I know this smell," Eridan turned to Vriska and their eyes flashed in mutual understanding. Sollux had no clue what was going down. Instead, he looked to them for some sort of explanation, which they weren't particularly keen on giving.

"… Why would it smell like this?" Vriska had her eyes narrowed.

"We're going to find out," Eridan took off fast-paced into the cave and Vriska followed a moment after.

"WAIT YOU GUYS! What's with the smell?" Sollux took a step forward into the dank cave, his mind buzzing with frustration. The cave, which had gotten even creepier since he had stepped foot into it, echoed his voice back and forth in a dizzying pattern.

"It's the smell of bombs and explosives. It's the smell of genocide," Eridan shouted back. Sollux didn't wait a second later. He gasped and took off into the cave after them.

Sollux continued to run blindly in the cave, occasionally thudding into pointed stones or tripping over small indents in the earth. "Jethus CHRIST," he blurted out as again he rammed into a portion of rock-hard granite. The smell continued to get worse.

"Follow my voice, shitbag!" Eridan called out from somewhere ahead of him.

"Yeah! And you boys might want to cover your noses in some way. These chemicals are super fucking dangerous, you know?" Vriska's somewhat excited voice came from nearly the same direction as it laced over Eridan's voice in a weird booming echo.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming," Sollux raised his voice as he tugged up his t-shirt to stop the tingling feeling that was now turning into a burning sensation in his nose. Unfortunately, there was now no way for him to feel where he was going, so he stumbled into rocks even more. He sprinted for another minute before he whammed into something considerably softer than the sharp rocks.

"That better be you, Sollux," came the annoyed voice of Vriska. She was obviously pissed off that this was the second time today someone had barreled into her.

"It's me alright," confirmed Sollux, his voice nasally from him pinching his nose so hard, "why the heck did we stop?"

"Because we've found the source of the smell," Eridan stated grimly, "just look at this thing..."

Sollux looked up. The cave had amazingly gotten brighter! Either that, or his eyes had adjusted… but that didn't even matter at this point. The machine in front of them was gigantic and easily towered over thirty feet above them. It was standing still, but hummed lightly, wires cascading off of it and into the darkness surrounding it. A few lights flickered on the outside of the solid metal surface. Sollux tried to figure out what they meant as a sinking feeling bubbled in his gut. Hadn't he seen this design somewhere, too? When he was forced to hack into… into… Sollux's breath caught in his throat.

_Oh no. Oh no, oh no, oh no._

"Vriska. Why did you bring us here?" Eridan turned to her, an angry scowl shadowing his face as he planted a foot in front of her.

"I needed my dice to save Feferi! Don't go looking at me! They were stolen from me a few months ago and I was absolutely pissed. Then, a third party source let me know that my dice were taken here, to this island, and after I got you two, I decided we should grab them. Honest," Vriska put her hands up in front of her.

Eridan put down his fist and looked away, shaking, "... I believe you. Please don't misuse my trust. I really want to believe you're telling the truth."

"Yeah, sure you want to believe me. I know it's sooo hard, because I'm the designated liar and all," Vriska rolled her eyes, "And just to let you know, I gave up these plans sweeps ago when you weren't man enough to go through with them… But, Eridan… it's EXACTLY how I described it to you," Vriska gulped, her mouth twitching slightly in awe, "it's almost as wicked as I imagined it to be!"

"You never built it, though! Those were just plans!" Eridan turned to her, his eyes widening madly.

"Yeah, duh! I tricked you about actually creating it. That would have taken sooo many boondollars out of my stash. But it wasn't some fake little pretend game! All the proportions, architecture, construction plans, amount of cyanide, amount of gas, amount of trolls it could annihilate, etcetera, were all completely accurate!" Vriska defended herself.

"And what did you do with those plans?" Eridan barked from behind bared teeth.

"I think I burned them," Vriska rubbed her chin.

"You need to REMEMBER," Eridan persisted, shaking her by the shoulders until Vriska shoved him away.

"I might have copied the plans online, too! To a safe file, of course, where only you could see them. I didn't share my awesome schemes with the entire Internet, dummy. Just you," Vriska poked him hard in the chest.

"Shit," Sollux covered his face with his hands, "shit, shit, shit."

Eridan and Vriska both looked at him with ignorant expressions. Eridan concluded that the smell was getting to Sollux's head.

"I did it," Sollux whispered, "It was me. I see now," he stared up at the machine.

"What the fuck do you mean, Sol?"

"Your doomsday plans, Vriska! And… and… EVERYTHING!" Sollux screamed, "They made me hack and steal and illegally download files from the government and I wasn't paying attention and… and… and…"

"Spit it OUT," Eridan kicked him in the knees and he easily buckled to the floor, "WHAT are you saying?!"

"I HELPED THEM GET THE PLANS! AND I DID OTHER STUFF, TOO. I didn't know! I'm THORRY! They were going to hurt her and everyone else if I didn't get all that information for them. It's all my fault. For… A-all of t-thi-is-s…"

"You…" Eridan's voice faltered and he looked at Sollux with blunt sadness and a hurt expression, "you… betrayed us?"

"F-forgive me. I thought it was a hoax… a game… a way for some stupid guys to make fun of the government. Things g-got weird when they started threatening me. Don't you see?! They've got us cornered now. We're through," Sollux banged his head against the ground.

Eridan kicked Sollux so hard he easily rolled over onto his back, "we aren't through. If you give up hope, you're right, there won't be any fucking chance of us survivin'." He waited a moment before bending down over him. "Get up," he ordered, looking away as he extended a hand to Sollux, who grabbed it gratefully.

Vriska looked at them both gravely as they heard the stomp of nearing footsteps. "We have company. How nice of them to join us," she remarked bitterly, "I hope you doofuses are ready to fight."

"I'm more than ready," Eridan growled as he pulled out his wand from the sash that encircled his waist, "get ready for an unhealthy dose of science."

* * *

**AHHHH here we go! It's gonna be a Eridan x Sollux x Vriska vs. ?ENEM(Y)(IES)? SHOWDOWN!**

**plus... what will happen to Sollux now that he admits to being a traitor?**

**Thank you so much for all the continued support/reviews/follows/favorites. You guys rule B)**

**I hope you liked the new chapter! :P**


	4. Dirty Cells and Dank Caves

Feferi awoke to the sound of nothingness.

She leaned her head against one of the cool walls in her confinement. Nothing had changed, really, since the last time she had awoken. She still couldn't see, thanks to the blindfold that was tightly knotted around her head. With nothing else to observe or take in, she was left her victim to her own nervous thoughts. Feferi swallowed uncomfortably and noticed her throat was dry like sandpaper. Murky water trickled down her spine and soaked the back of her shirt as she deflated down to the floor. The chains around her wrists left her unable to remove the blindfold.

Feferi tried her best not to panic. Would she die here? No... Feferi brought her knees up against her chest. She wasn't going down that easily.

"Are you gonna stop being so stubborn already?" A voice called to her from afar, snapping her out of her thoughts as she flinched in surprise, "I brought you your lunch or whatever," the voice said again, half dropping, half placing something on the ground that clattered loudly beside her.

She turned her face away from it. "Thanks. But I'm okay."

The troll appeared to be pissed at first, since apparently delivering lunch to her had been hard work. But after a few seconds she felt an annoyed flick on her horn. "I brought this shit all the way up for you. You aren't even gonna try it?"

"You sorta dragged me here against my will. I don't trust you very much," Feferi put it bluntly, "how do I know whether or not you sprinkled poison all over it?"

"Nah, I wouldn't pull that carp," the other girl sounded like she had heard this before, "I wouldn't let you die _that_ easily," a giggle escaped the girl's lips.

Feferi laughed nervously. "You're glubbing crazy."

"It's tuna, you know," the voice offered her again. Feferi felt her mouth water at the very mention of tuna and her stomach growled audibly.

"I'm not in the mood," Feferi lied. But oh god, that tuna smelled _so_ good.

"Suit yourself," the plate was kicked away with a loud klang and Feferi secretly wished she had accepted the food.

There were a few seconds of silence before the voice started up again. "That was quite the show you put on the other night. You know. The speech."

Feferi nodded. "I'm guessing that's why I'm here?"

"Yup. Unfortunately, you attracted the attention of some pretty powerful people who don't see Alternia the way you see it."

"Eridan warned me about that," Feferi said aloud guiltily, "but I didn't think I would get KIDNAPPED. I thought trolls were civilized enough to calmly challenge and vedo an idea they don't like."

It was the girl's turn to be silent as Feferi heard her shoes scuffing the floor in calm sweeps.

"Hey," Feferi broke the silence, dreading the question she was about to ask, "what do you think? Do you want everyone to have equal rights, or do you want to keep the old ways of doing things?"

"Hmm. They both have pros and cons, but weighing in the fact that I offered to reel you in, I'm on _her_ side."

"Thanks a lot," Feferi scowled in the general direction of whoever was speaking. Her heart sank.

"But hey. You're a Highblood yourself. There must be some part of you that hungers for the power you deserve," the voice turned somewhat bitter, but it wasn't going to convince Feferi otherwise.

"No part of me hungers for that kind of thing," Feferi assured her, "I'm not like that."

Feferi's earfins twitched with regret as the angry troll half-yelled in her ear, "I don't get you! You have every right to be a murderous tyrant, and you throw it all away for the sake of the greater good. You make me sick. You... bring shame to the Peixes name." The girl tried hard to come up with some good backup to support her claim, but her voice faltered. "God, you can be pretty convincing."

"Maybe it's because I care about what happens to my friends. And maybe it's because I don't want to live looking over my shoulder for people wanting to stab my back. And I'm not too keen on the idea of crumbling civilizations to the ground. I want to be respected, not feared." Feferi's plans tumbled from her mouth as she tried to make the other troll reconsider.

"You're stupid! And the nonsense you puke from your mouth is even stupider. Holy mackerel, you're makin' me want to throw up," she gagged dramatically. If Feferi was able to see her face, she guessed it would be scowling at her.

Feferi stuck her tongue out at her captor.

"Believe whatever you want, but I would be careful," she seemed to calm down, and then paused with a sigh. "Man, I hate to break up this friendly debate between us two, but I was given the job to execute you."

Feferi froze and opened her mouth to say something. "I… I'm not afraid of you," her voice almost cracked.

"Yeah. You just keep telling yourself that, girl. I can smell the fear on your breath."

Feferi heard shuffling and then a loud metallic crunch. She almost jumped out of her skin when a sharp metallic object was pressed against her throat. The shape was familiar, and she raised an eyebrow despite the dangerous situation.

"Fear. The shit's _crazy_ effective," the girl half-joked.

There was a long pause where Feferi did not move. Her lip quivered a little as she fought to stay still and look proud, but it was no use masking her discomfort any longer.

"God. Don't make that face at me," her perpetrator sounded guilty as she removed the sharp object from Feferi's throat, "you're gonna make me feel bad about krilling you later." Feferi felt a few drops of blood trickle down her neck as she breathed out a sigh of relief.

"Hmm," the girl sounded like she was deciding what to do with her next.

Feferi lay there for a few more precious seconds before, much to her surprise, her blindfold was pulled off her face in a rush of pink fabric. Feferi blinked a few times and squinted around at her surroundings. Besides the obvious leaks in the ceiling, the place wasn't _so_ bad.

"Mhmm, you like it? It's reely not too shabby," the voice said approvingly.

Feferi snapped her head towards the sound of the voice to get the first glimpse of her capturer. She nearly had a heart palpitation in the process.

"Heyy lil' guppy," the girl said sheepishly, smiling crookedly.

It was Meenah.

* * *

"Christ. How did we get into this mess?" Eridan shook his head and gripped his wand with tight-knuckled seriousness.

"Just shut up and fight until I find my dice," Vriska hissed, taking a step back. "Ugh. God, I should have come prepared with another weapon," she fiddled around with her many pockets until she finally gave up searching for something to fight with. "Oh well. I've got vision eightfold, after all," she pulled off the eye patch that she had strapped on for their sea adventure. Her eye glinted mischievously in the dim light as she sidestepped towards Sollux and shoved him in front of her.

"H-Hey! What're you-," Sollux glared as Vriska clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Do you want to get out of here alive? Cover me, dumbasses."

"Alright Vriska," Eridan rolled his eyes, "but you better find those dice lickity split, or I might murder you myself when you get back."

"Easy, big boy. I'll be back soon enough. I've got a sixth sense for treasure," Vriska sprinted out into another passage. Eridan and Sollux were quiet until the thundering of her steps merged into the booming of the footsteps closing in on them.

"…Will she come back?" Sollux cocked his head towards Eridan.

"Who even knows? Probably," Eridan didn't even turn to look at him, but instead fiddled with his wand.

"That's fucking reassuring, thanks," Sollux glared at Eridan. This whole adventure was a goddam joke. Why had he even come? That's right: to help his friend Feferi. But this method clearly wasn't getting them anywhere close to taking back the Empress of Alternia.

Sollux stomped his right leg back in some kind of starting Kung-Fu position as he raised his arms defensively in a cross across his chest. His eyes spat blue and red light like the cops chasing down a serial killer.

Eridan looked over at him sheepishly and crossed his arms over his chest. "Oh come on, Sol. I always knew you were dramatic, but this is ridiculous," he chuckled mockingly, but sweat was clearly dripping down his face while his eyes jumped at every shadow that twitched in a thirty-yard radius.

"I just want to get this over with, get off this godforsaken shitbag of an island, and finally save FF, which was our objective in the first place," Sollux tried to wave his attention away from Eridan.

"Like you should talk, traitor," he snarled bitterly, clearly releasing some pent up frustration, "you got us into this in the first place, you two sided, raging imbecile," Eridan watched as white light poured from his wand in angry sobs. He tried to ignore Sollux's heavy breathing next to him as he racked his brain for important tactics from modern day warfare. He had read books and books about this kind of situation, but the information was sucked dry from his brain as he pondered the shockingly real possibility that he would never be able to see Feferi again. His shoulders grew heavy and the white light ebbed a little. How long had it been since he'd used this wand? He clutched it in his hand. He'd used it to kill her last time, he was sure of it. Could… could he break the bad luck and use it to save her?

He waved his wand in the air a few times, his heart dead-set on personally murdering every single one of the people slinking towards them. Eridan and Sollux shuffled back a few more feet, still out of sight and ready to surprise them at a moments notice.

They both caught sight of the tips of horns shuffling from behind one of the bends of the cave passageways. Eridan and Sollux both stiffened in preparation. Sollux stifled a laugh as he heard the mutterings and garbles of the unsuspecting trolls. They were having as much trouble as he had walking through the spiraling cave.

BANG!

The power of white science knocked back three trolls, slamming them into the cavern walls with a sickening crunch. There were a few shrieks of confusion and fear. Eridan's eyebrows rose as he realized there weren't nearly as many trolls as he imagined from the booming footsteps. There were only about twenty, a pretty pitiful number considering they were guarding an unbelievably dangerous doomsday device. It would be easy sending them to their deaths. He could do it. Right now. The wand lapped hungrily at his hands. It would take one flick of power...

No… Eridan lowered his wand as his ambition sank. This is not the way Feferi would approach the situation. She would find a way around this mess without hurting her people.

"HEY. Dumbath," Sollux hissed in his direction, "are you still with us, or are you off in Ampora Land? Help me take on this next row of trolls."

"Hey, wait," Eridan grabbed Sollux's shoulder. Sollux made a move to shrug off his hand, but Eridan kept it in place while he thought over his options. He had to figure out how to stop these people without killing them or mortally wounding them. "Uh, that sounds great, but what if we just block off the passage and go find Vris? You know, instead of murdering everyone on the spot."

Sollux looked at him blankly with his mouth slightly agape, before he crossed his arms with a smug smile. "Shit. Are my ears deceiving me, or is Ampora learning to be humane? What phenomenon has overtaken you, oh great Emperor?"

Eridan rolled his eyes, "I didn't want to clean up the bloody mess after we were done killing everyone," his mouth twitched back into a frown, "are you with me or not, you cocky bastard?"

"Ehh, I'm with you," Sollux shrugged casually, "if I were them, I wouldn't want to become a messy pile of bones and entrails on the floor."

"Smart choice," Eridan said shortly, taking a step back as the trolls down the corridor finally understood that they had been ambushed, "we're aiming for those rocks hanging from the ceiling, got it? We can block off the path and get the hell out of this dump."

"You mean the stalactites?" Sollux offered, motioning to the ceiling with an inquisitive glance.

"Yeah, you know what I meant, smartass," Eridan said, scratching his head in embarrassment. Sollux was so precise about every little thing. Eridan couldn't see how the correct name of the rock formations would help in their efforts to stop the running mass of trolls headed towards them. They looked savage and extremely pissed off. Eridan gulped uncomfortably.

"I was just being clear."

"Oh, don't give me a goddam sob story. One hundred percent of those… _rocks_ are the same. You're just being smart with me."

"_Stalactites_."

"Yeah. WHATEVER. Just shoot them, for god fuckin' sakes. We're busy fighting over the name of some shitty rocks while they've advanced over half the fucking corridor."

"Fine."

Eridan and Sollux shot off their weapons in a massive blast of power and dust. The air around them thickened with debris as they rushed into the main chamber. The doomsday device hummed; cradled in the cave's dark crevices. Angry shouts were now muffled as a large rock wall stood in the place where soldiers should have been attacking them.

"Not bad," Eridan commented, brushing off his soldiers.

"Not bad yourself," Sollux said.

"Yeah. The way you used your psiioniics there. Truly remarkable."

"Your magic wasn't bad either," Sollux added.

"It could've been better if I had just thought to bring Ahab's Crosshairs," Eridan deposited the wand back into his pocket, secretly missing his powerful gun.

Eridan could feel a temporary truce coming on and he almost smiled. A nod was silently passed from one boy to the other.

"We should get looking for Vriska," Eridan decided, taking a step towards the doomsday device apprehensively. He couldn't help but feel an interest bubbling in his stomach. It was like his twisted childhood dreams had come true. He then looked back at Sollux. "It's amazing," Eridan decided, "too bad it's capable of killing everyone on this entire planet."

A question was forming on the tip of Eridan's tongue but he seemed reluctant to speak his mind.

Sollux took a step forward as well and took it all in, although when he looked up at the doomsday device, he felt nauseous enough to throw up. It was his fault this thing was sitting here, wasn't it?

"Why?" Eridan finally said, "Why would you help out… whoever those people are?"

"Do you think I had a choice? Do you think I would purposely make your life miserable? I wanted equality for all trolls, too." Sollux spat at him, the words shooting out. "I was forced. They threatened Aradia's life. I thought it was bullthit, so I didn't do anything. They took her from me, Eridan. Goddammit. I... have no clue where she is."

Eridan stiffened at Sollux's answer. "That's…" Eridan paused. For a moment, Sollux actually believed he was going to say something supportive.

"We're kind of in the same, fucked-up boat," Sollux looked away.

Eridan nodded, but it was apparent that he had not forgiven him yet. "Come on, Sollux. We should find Vriska instead of waiting around in this dump. We can talk later about finding Aradia."

"Ok," Sollux was surprised Eridan had offered to help him, but he didn't question it.

They walked in silence, kicking stones to the beat of their quickened heartbeats.

* * *

**My god, about time. We finally get to see what Feferi is up to! This _is_ an Eridan x Feferi fanfic after all. ;P and TA-DAAA it's Meenah yahoo I hope it wasn't too obvious.**

**Also, sorry for the shorter chapter and longer wait for the upd8. I've been really busy... but more is coming, I assure you!**

**thanks & enjoy!**


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